As my water broke all over our bedroom floor, my first thought was:
“Wow. This timing couldn’t be better.”
It was 4:30 a.m.
I still had time to have my morning cup of coffee, read the Bible, and tidy up the house before our lives would change forever.
Throughout my pregnancy, I was scared my delivery and postpartum would be traumatic again. My first delivery ended in my doctor using forceps. The recovery was so hard that it triggered postpartum depression.
So I spent 9 months working on myself – mentally, physically, and spiritually. My goal was to be stronger this time around.
And now, the day had come.
I had no idea how the delivery would go.
But I felt strangely calm.
As the coffee brewed, I looked at my phone and smiled. It was Wednesday, October 29 – three days before my due date. I had secretly hoped she’d be an October baby.
What I didn’t know was that my daughter’s birth would not only be timely, fast, and smooth … it would also become the most healing experience of my life.
God’s Incredible Timing
Before I get into the delivery, I have to share what happened the night before.
On Oct. 28 – at 6 p.m. – our priest called out of nowhere.
He had a last-minute cancellation and wanted to meet with us – something we’d been trying to schedule for months. Thomas and I had been working on ourselves individually, but we also wanted to make sure we were strong and united before baby #2 arrived.
Our meeting with Abouna felt like the final puzzle piece.
“That was so helpful, Abouna,” I told him. “I honestly feel like Tom and I are ready to take on this next chapter together.”
Thomas smiled and said, “Okay Lisa, you can have the baby now.”
Six hours later, my water broke.
Our Final Morning As 3
After my morning routine, I packed all of Matthias’s favorite things for the day. He and I are rarely apart, and I was extremely emotional at the thought of leaving him.
At 7 a.m., I quietly woke up Tom.
“Love, don’t worry – everything’s okay … but I’m in labor.”
He shot up, gave me a big hug, and immediately started packing my hospital bag. (Get you a husband who packs things you never would have thought of – like your favorite snacks and peanut butter!)
At 7:30 a.m., I went into Matthias’s room – knowing it was the last morning it’d be just the two of us. I gave him the biggest hug and kiss and told him he was going to be a big brother today.
At that moment, my contractions started.
Then, they intensified.
Fast.
My Doctor Barely Made It To The Delivery
I arrived at the hospital at 8:45 a.m.
By the time they checked me into a room, my contractions became INSANELY intense. But there were no residents available to check my dilation, and my doctor was in back-to-back surgeries.
Around 11 a.m., Dr. Bruno got out of his first surgery. He came to check me – I was 5 cm. He said he would stop by after his next surgery to check again.
I tried to hold off on the epidural, but the pain was escalating. When the anesthesiologist arrived, memories from my first delivery came rushing back.
I started to panic and cry.
My nurse noticed. Shari held my hand and said something I’ll never forget:
“We are going to rewrite this story.”
And we did.
Leila’s Arrival
An hour later, the epidural finally kicked in.
Just moments later, Dr. Bruno walked in. He checked me, then looked up in shock:
“Oh yeah. She’s here.”
“What?! I’m already 10 centimeters?!”
“Yup!” he said. “DON’T push yet.”
Suddenly, the room filled with nurses and residents. I grabbed Thomas’s hand and started to panic again. I was petrified.
So I decided to pray and offer it up.
“Come on, Lisa — PUSH!”
Two pushes later, I heard her cry.
And I cried too.
She was absolutely perfect. A full head of hair, gorgeous eyes, the cutest nose. An angel. She looked just like her brother.
I held her in my arms and couldn’t believe what I was feeling.
It wasn’t trauma.
It was joy.
The Life-Changing Moment with Matthias
The second I heard Leila’s cry, something in me changed.
I’m not saying I’m suddenly the perfect mother. But after I had Matthias, I was too focused on the trauma to even think straight (or enjoy the newborn stage).
This time, I’ve just been in awe of her. Of Matthias. Of my husband. Of the blessings in front of me.
When I was pregnant, I had no idea how I would balance meeting the needs of both a newborn and toddler.
Here’s the thing I never saw coming …
When we came home from the hospital, Matthias was in shock. I was terrified he had changed. I felt so much guilt and couldn’t stop crying.
The next day, I said, “Do you want Mommy to play blocks with you?”
His face lit up.
I balled my eyes out at the joy he expressed.
That simple moment taught me the biggest lesson:
As long as he feels his mommy’s love – he’s not jealous or upset or affected.
He’s happy.
And that has made me on fire to serve him – and my family.
It feels like my new vocation.
Since that moment with the blocks, I’ve made it my life goal to be the most present person in Matthias’s life – just like I’ve always been.
No matter how sleep deprived I am, I jump out of bed because I WANT to be the one to get him out of his crib. I LIVE to see his face when I show him I made his favorite breakfast. And I cherish our one-on-one time — hugging him and telling him he’s the most special boy in the world.
Look, I don’t want to sugar coat it. My life has never been busier (breastfeeding every 2-3 hours, keeping my toddler challenged and entertained, making him nutritious meals, doing endless laundry…)
But I’ve never felt more fulfilled.
My biggest fear — that I was too selfish for this role — is slowly dissipating.
I still have a lot to learn. I still have a lot of growing to do.
But if you’ve ever had a hard delivery or postpartum, and you’re scared to do it again, I hope this gives you hope. You will be in awe of how your heart expands.
As my delivery nurse said:
“We’re going to rewrite your story.”
PS: Here’s more behind Leila’s name (and some videos from these last few weeks) :)
